God is so good

  God is so good. Those 4 words are probably among many kindergartner's first words but also so profound. It's so easy to see the hurt, betrayal, trials, and seemingly unending pain of this world and think that maybe perhaps God is NOT good. He seems to allow all of this bad stuff to happen right? How could any good come from all this pain? For anyone reading this should you stumble upon it, I so wish I could sit down with you and share some of my story. God truly IS good and the last few years of my life are proof of that and of His never ending, incomprehensible love and plan for me. After enduring 7 months of separation after Tim joined the military, raising 4 children under 5 alone, major health issues and potentially life altering surgery performed on my baby in Tim's absence, the unexpected death of Tim's mom, betrayal from Christian 'friends', leaving our church family after 11 years and finding a new church, marriage trouble and subsequent counseling, and so much more I can't even share, it would be easy for me to harbor resentment, bitterness, and completely reject the Lord all together. In fact, I certainly have in these past 3 years from time to time. Sometimes I feel as if I could have filled an ocean with my tears during the past 3 years.

But God...*raised hands in true Hallelujah!

Oh, how I wish I had the writing ability to be able to convey truly how God has worked. He deserves all the glory because all the pain and suffering I endured and the growth achieved as a result is ONLY because of Him.  Looking through some old pictures today, I couldn't help but be reminded of how far we have come as a family. The joy I now have in my marriage AND my husband, the strength I learned I had in Christ because of Tim's absence, the reminder that God loves my children more than I do and protects them with the same hand that He uses to protect me, the wonderful, godly, encouraging body of believers we are now a part of, the new, God-sent friends that are now so dear to our hearts, and oh I could share so much more.  God truly IS good and NOTHING that we experience takes him by surprise. His plans ARE good and the pain is worth it. It has been almost 3 years since I really sat down a blogged like I used to. So much of my life and thoughts are stored on here except for the last 3 years. God knew this time was going to be special. Painfully special, but still special. I do wish I had recorded my thoughts during those challenging times a bit better.  But at the same time, it makes it a little extra special for me to have spent the past 3 years sharing something with only my Savior.  I'm hopeful that He will once again give me the strength and the words to share what He is doing. He is changing me from the inside out. He truly is making a masterpiece. He is slowly chipping away at my pride, my selfishness, and just my sinful self and bringing in more of His Son. What a special journey Christian's get to be on in our relationships with the Lord!  While I seem to be an extremely stubborn and slow learner, I am so thankful for a God who loves, cares, and is patient with me!