Deactivating Facebook

I've had several people ask me why I deactivated my facebook account so I figured I would put it in to writing, not only for other people's information, but for my own benefit.

For awhile now, I've noticed, well, my complete obsession with facebook.  I had initially wanted to wait until the New Year to deactivate it, mainly just because of the whole "starting new" thing. But the more I truly evaluated where I was going in my life, the more I realized that it just couldn't wait.  So, on Sunday the 18th, I did just that.  Deactivated my facebook account.  It had literally started to consume my thoughts.  What would people think about THAT post?  What would they say about that picture?  Will they like it? Will they read into it more than the surface post that it was?  Will so and so take this the wrong way?  I wonder how many notifications I will get after THAT?  The list goes on.  I had a family member ask me "why don't you just not look at facebook?"  If only I could be that disciplined.  I am truly a work in progress and I am SOO thankful that my Savior hasn't given up on me and still considers me His masterpiece.  But until I learn how better to manage my time, where my value lies, and who's opinion matters most, I must stay away for now.  Tim even changed his password on his account so that I would be completely away from the temptation to get drawn into it.  I have my photography site linked to his account and have to go through him to update and check that.  Believe me, this has been HARD!  There are so many of you that I long to hear whats going on with your life, to see your children grow up since I can't see you in person and from some of you, even receive the encouragement you gave me so often.  But my relationship with Jesus Christ is far more important as I know those I care about most will completely understand.  Also more important is my most important ministry, my home and my family.  They have truly suffered on account of me and they deserve better than that.  God has given them to me and me to them and though at times I am tempted to believe the lies of Satan, there is no one better suited for them than me and vice versa.  So, its not any type of new years resolution that will be broken, its just a simple, this is the way it HAS to be.  I have GOT to get my relationship with Christ where it needs to be.  Not that I will ever obtain perfection, but the closer I get the more like Him I will get and therefore the more I will better fulfill all that He has called me to do.  The days after I deactivated my account really showed me the urgency of why it needed done so badly.  In many ways, I felt relief.  Relief from my life being on display for all to see and interpret the way they wanted to interpret it.  It was a sense of freedom I hadn't felt in awhile.  But I also felt a huge sense of loneliness and as sad as it is, withdrawal.  Before I deactivated, I would literally sit down at the computer, open my browser and type in facebook EVERY time I sat at my computer.  With my computer being in my kitchen, it was an action I did  VERY often throughout my day.  As a matter of fact, the first few days, I had to deactivate my account again and again because out of sheer habit, I would type it in and sign in which is how you reactivate your account. Yes, I know this is sad, and shows my complete pathetic sinful nature, but its where I was and I need to write this down so that in time, I can look back and see how far I've come.  This is incredibly humbling for me but lets face it, my pride could use it.  I will probably reactivate it at some point, but ONLY when I feel like I can better handle it.  For now, I really truly am enjoying my children, my husband, and my ministry at home being completely uninterrupted by facebook or really life outside of my immediate life.  I have taken out other ministries, mainly church ministries so that I can also redirect my focus.  I am so excited about where God is going to take me and how He is going to work in my life.  He has already begun a HUGE change in my life and I pray my family sees it. I do appreciate the prayers of those who have been faithful to pray for me during this season of growing in my life.